Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
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