I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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