No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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