U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
