i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
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