Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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