you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
