Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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