In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
