I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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