I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
