sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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