Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Randomize
