im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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