i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
