we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
