I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
