I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
