You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
