i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize