I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
