Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
