I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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