i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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