im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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