I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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