if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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