I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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