??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Randomize
