It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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