Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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