I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
