just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
