I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
