I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
