Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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