i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Randomize
