She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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