why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
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I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
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I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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