I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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