First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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