I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize