At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
