I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
