whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
