I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
