i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
her vagine was all disorganized.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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