I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
