3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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