There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
