just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
