oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
