my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
