my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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