I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
