There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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