Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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