And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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