There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
