Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
