I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
