There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
