The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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