is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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