census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
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he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
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So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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