It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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