He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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